Hello you!

Yes, you. We see you, we hear you, and we want to talk about something important: the way we communicate.

Learning to relate to others in a healthier way can be transformative. Communication from the heart is like medicine, not just for us, but for everyone we interact with. We have more power to shape communication systems than we realize.

For many, the upcoming holiday season means spending time with family and friends, some we haven’t seen in a while, or even living under the same roof as people we haven’t been around for months. This can bring up old emotions or remind us how things have changed (or haven’t). Holiday gatherings can be filled with expectation, obligation, and sometimes defensiveness, which leads to frustration, even when we willingly enter the space. So it’s a great time to check in with how we may approach things differently this time…

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a method that focuses on empathetic listening, expressing feelings and needs honestly, and making clear, respectful requests to foster connection and understanding.  The core of NVC is learning to “mine” for feelings and needs, discovering what’s really being communicated beneath the words. Often, we miss the true meaning beyond someone’s words; we don’t actively listen and take in all of the information being shared with us, more on this later. It’s not always easy, but with practice, it can radically change how we relate to others. When we communicate from the heart, we open the door to deeper connection, empathy, and understanding.

It can be hard to know what it is we actually are feeling or what we do need and sometimes it takes for someone else to point this out or ask us in order for us to be able to recognize them. The most common needs which humans express (above the basic needs for safety and comfort) are those for love, connection and belonging, to have autonomy & choice, for appreciation & recognition.  How many of these needs resonate with you?

I’m guessing all or most of them; they are universal, which is why by finding which need or needs are not being met in another person, we can find our common, universal understanding and love for each other. Sounds fairly simple right? This is life changing stuff and we want to help offer some ways to integrate this into your relationships, from right now.

Heart-centered communication is about much more than exchanging information. It’s about connecting to the emotions and intentions behind the words. Compassion is the cornerstone of heart-centered communication, putting yourself in the shoes of the person speaking to you. To do this effectively, we need to be truly present. This means focusing on the person speaking; not checking your phone or thinking about an example from your own life which is the same/worse or that you’ve got just the thing to help…

Listening isn’t just about hearing words. It’s about observing the body language, tone, and pauses, rephrasing. Notice the sighs, the body posture, and the unspoken words, even the time chosen for the conversation or the moment something is shared. When someone places a hand on their chest, takes a deep breath, or looks away, these gestures can give us clues to what’s going on inside.

Sometimes, conversations trigger feelings of anxiety, defensiveness, or frustration, which can make us want to argue or correct. But when we approach conversations with curiosity and care, we shift from a mindset of “winning” the conversation to one of building understanding. It’s about looking for common ground and realizing that beneath every surface-level difference, we share universal needs and have more in common than we realise. 

Remember: Every interaction is an opportunity to build trust, understanding, and connection. Just like building a castle, every small heartfelt interaction is a brick in building a strong, lasting connection.

When we’re with family, especially during the holidays, old dynamics and past experiences can resurface. Sometimes, we bring preconceived notions into conversations, like thinking “they’ll never change” or “this will always be the same.” But just as we grow and change, so does everyone else.

Here’s an example of how you can express yourself in a way that invites understanding:

“Last holiday, I noticed we spent a lot of time discussing politics and past family issues, which made me feel overwhelmed and anxious. I value our family time and need to feel safe and relaxed to truly enjoy it. This year, can we focus on positive stories and things we’re grateful for more? I think this will help everyone feel more relaxed and make our time together more enjoyable.”

This example shows how to express your feelings, needs, and requests clearly, fostering better communication. We know, in practice this is not going to be as simple as saying one phrase and all is well, but you’re showing up with care and willingness to be open, which is amazing. Bre guides you through a short meditation here to Feel Grounded & Confident, so you can get into the headspace before trying it out.

Here’s our eleven key tips for better communication.

You don’t need to step on the mat to get into a yoga headspace. Yoga is about cultivating mindfulness and letting it guide how you approach all aspects of life. Yogic philosophy views communication as a means of self-realization and spiritual evolution. By engaging in conversations consciously and with intention, we can deepen the understanding of ourselves and our connection to the larger universe. Being present, showing up, and having the willingness to apply yourself fully to whatever you are doing extends to every part of your day, including every interaction.

Yoga, after all, means union, not just of body and breath, but of self with life, and self with others.
Love, like yoga, is a practice; a dance of awareness, presence, and attunement. When two or more people move together in rhythm, there is harmony. But when the rhythm changes, pretending to keep dancing becomes a kind of suffering. The true yoga of relationship is not about completing one another, it’s about revealing where we still feel incomplete, so we can come back to wholeness. Each moment with another is an invitation to listen more deeply, to love more fully, to communicate from the heart. Like yoga, love is renewed each time we show up with presence and devotion. And yes, devotion is a path to liberation.

The Buddha’s teachings on wise speech remind us to speak truthfully, kindly, helpfully, and at the right time. By integrating these principles into our communication, we can build trust, foster understanding, and create more meaningful relationships.

As Buddha said, we all have within us the seeds of greed, hatred and desire and we also have within us the seeds of love and compassion. Every time we initiate or take part in an interaction with anyone, it is an opportunity to water the right seeds. Take time to notice how people respond when we respond in a new way. How do the interactions differ when you choose to get curious about the human who is sharing their energy with you? 

This, by the way, extends to yourself; become familiar with your mind and curious about that internal voice. Offer yourself the compassion and care you give to others and you open yourself to healthier, more meaningful connections. 

Connect with us on December 27 for a family gathering like no other. We’ll save you a space.

With curiosity and compassion always,

📖 Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg

📖 Getting Relationships Right: How to Build Resilience and Thrive in Life, Love, and Work by Dr Melanie Joy

💬 Resources for how to use the NVC approach in every day life by Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication author, Oren Jay Sofer.

📺 Betty Hart’s TED talk: How compassion could save your strained relationships.

🎧 Super Soul Special by Oprah Winfrey: How to Listen with Compassion with Thich Nhat Hanh.

🎧 Super Communicators Rich sits down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg to discuss his new book Supercommunicators. This discussion explores the neuroscience and psychology that shape our interactions and connection with others, and much more. 

Other cool stuff we use, buy and recommend can all be found here in the Breathe and Flow Kit here! From books and to business tools, to travel items and yoga props - we’ve got you covered!

Let your heart lead,{{first_name}} listen, really listen, and get curious. It’ll be worth it. 🤗